Femme & Freaky : The subversive power of Friday the 13th

As a kid, I possessed an inexplicable love for Friday the 13th. 

It felt like a special day. The horror movie marathons and spooky superstitions had a lot to do with my excitement, but I whole-heartedly believed it was a day to celebrate.

To me, it was weird that people considered it a day of bad luck. I couldn’t fathom the number 13 being so off-putting to people that hotels opt out of a 13th floor. And Fridays are so fun! I wanted to make the day an occasion. Fast-forward to my tarot-reading, ritual-loving self, I learned that Friday the 13th signified a day of the Divine Feminine: a day of raw, untamed magic.

Today, I want to reclaim Friday the 13th by embracing the Divine Feminine–and expand on the sometimes restrictive or dogmatic concept of Divine Feminine.

Friday is influenced by the planet Venus. As a planet, Venus rules feminine energy: creative, generative, beautiful, bountiful, wild, primal energy. 

Also considered feminine? The number 13. Generally, there are 13 moon cycles and 13 menstrual cycles in one year. I’ve found it interesting that the Tarot Queens in the Minor Arcana tarot are the 13th card. And it really lights my brain up if I apply this same logic to card 13 of the Major Arcana, The Death Card.

With these cosmic influences together, the potency of Friday the 13th conjures our curiosity, entices our exploration and experimentation, invokes imagination of our most creatively absurd ideas; we are being called to express the unexpressed.

As we know, however, Friday the 13th feels nothing like this. People tiptoe through the day as if not to alert the bad luck lingering in the shadows. 

The mysterious, electric experience of Friday the 13th that I feel, is interpreted quite differently by others.

When I think about why people are so afraid of this date, it comes down to this:

In a heteronormative patriarchal society, it’s really no surprise we’d fear a day of the Divine Feminine–because feminine energy itself is deemed fearsome in a culture that venerates all things Masculine.

We are taught very early on as little Magicians and High Priestesses learning the ways of the world, that we must subdue the parts of us that express the nature of the Divine Feminine if we are to exist in this current paradigm.

We must name all unknown things. 

We must domesticate the primal. 

We must demoralize the spirited. 

We must criticize our creativity.

If Friday the 13th is a devotion to the wild, unruly, and mysterious energy of the Divine Feminine, it is no wonder we are taught to fear it. Divine Feminine energies of intuition, creativity, resourcefulness, expansion are feared because that’s what makes a human unpredictable, ungovernable, uncontrollable. 

Instead we are taught in every area of our lives, our families, our classrooms, in our places of worship, in media we enjoy, to hide what makes us stand out. We are taught to suppress our feelings, ideas, or curiosities. We are taught to be quiet and sit still. All of these things benefit no one except those who stand to gain more power from the perpetuity of production which upholds the patriarchy.

The manifestation of this fear on Friday the 13th not only becomes an entire day of knocking on wood, but pokes at the underlying fear that we have of ourselves: What makes us weird. What makes us wild. What makes us chaotic. What makes us unique.

The belief that there’s something wrong with us is so deep, that we hide away what makes us sacred.

It makes me think of this quote:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.” —Marianne Williamson 

The fear of Divine Feminine gifts is illustrated in the persistent misattribution, too. This quote from Williamson’s book, Return to Love, is regularly and grandly misattributed to Nelson Mandela

Going deeper, even if we remove the patriarchal lens of fearing the raw energy of Friday the 13th, and we reclaim the day to embrace the Divine Feminine, that language is still off-putting.

For a variety of valid reasons, the words “feminine” and “divine feminine” alienate people. 

Just this month, on multiple, separate, and wholly different occasions, I heard people say the divine feminine didn’t resonate with them. Naming energy Divine Feminine feels antiquated and limiting for many.

At the same time, it’s been helpful for me to identify types of energy I feel, as well as recognize when I’m over-saturated in some areas while depleted in others.

When I hear Divine Feminine or Divine Masuline, the profound, expansive energy being contained in binary language feels restrictive. Does being feminine mean to be still and small and quiet? Does it mean to value genitals? Does it mean pretty? Does it mean to birth children? Therefore does tapping into Divine Masculine mean dominance, strength? Does it mean loud? How do these energies present themselves?

The aversion toward Divine Feminine energy could be rooted in what we’ve learned about acceptable feminine traits, and more succinctly, that feminine=woman. What I find most helpful when reflecting on the Divine Feminine, is working through my conditioning and understanding of gender and gender norms.

When we dispel what we’ve been told about feminine traits, female behavior, gendered roles, we can start to establish our own language, our own knowings, our own experiences of Divine energy.

For example, feminine energy in societal lens says femininity is perfect curves, a kept home, a womb. Feminine energy is “attractive,” which has come to mean: symmetrically beautiful, with a made-up face, form-fitting clothing, white features. It is “creative” in the sense of child-bearing reproduction. To me, these are not spiritual, ways of looking at feminine energy, but sociological assignments. Even in the spiritual spaces, Divine Feminine is commonly depicted as motherly, as softness, as receptivity, as beautiful, as gentle and nurturing. Though those aspects might be true for some, the dominance and rigidity of that description can make Feminine energy feel even more unapproachable or inaccessible. 

When I separate what society says about feminine energy, with what I’m told is Divine Feminine, and sit with what I feel, there is a completely different experience.

To me, Divine Feminine is unbrushed hair. an untidy apartment. scribbles in a notebook.

It’s the permissed time without a schedule and no guilt.

It’s rest and ease.

It’s clothing that allows the body to breathe, to jiggle, to expand. Or no clothing at all.

It’s less focused on outward appearance or external gratification, acceptance, or approval, and more tapped-in to the soul-led expression. 

Divine Feminine energy tells me the way it looks doesn’t matter, the way it feels is everything. 

It’s a wild, boundless, primal existence. 

It’s indulging in desire.

It is the beautiful and brutal cycle of Life/Death/Life, moving in tandem with that flow. 

It is an unpredictable, chaotic, mysterious, unbridled spirit.

Divine Feminine is the space of doing absolutely nothing while experiencing absolutely everything.

In the space of Divine Feminine there is creativity, imagination, brainstorming, feelings, meditation, intuition, empathic ability, passion, appreciation, expression, freedom.

This is the part of me that roams free like a dirty-footed, stained-dress child with skinned knees and twigs in their hair. 

The Divine Feminine I understand is unlike what I’ve seen or been told. Yet it’s the most true thing for me.

If you’re curious, my Divine Masculine energy takes these wild, primal, raw ideas and encourages me to be vulnerable yet fortified enough to put ideas out into the world.

Both are love. Both are healing. Both know how to bark and bite.

Neither are about societal success, norms, expectations, or gender. I am both and neither and ebb and flow between the expressions. Sometimes my balance is even between Divine Masculine & Divine Feminine, and other times my balance comes in the form of needing more of one type of energy more than another, or calling in an archetype so I can move through an experience.

My point is this: Divine energy is not something that can be measured or qualified or put into a box. It is not about being a man or a woman. It is about embracing how you experience the spiritual that’s all around us, accessible to everyone, and trusting that what you feel is Divine – Feminine, Masculine or none or all. 

Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine energies are expansive, not limiting, as our society has told us it must be. 

There are multitudes of experiences of Divine Feminine and Masculine, but there are also numerous ways to feel and experience Divine energy. The Divine Feminine and The Divine Masculine are simply two archetypes we assign to describe certain expressions of energy — there can be more, there can be many. This think-piece, The Balancing Path: Nonbinary Perspective on Gendered Divinity, opened my mind to the ways we can name or perceive Divine energy. 

So if we’re celebrating the Divine Feminine on Friday the 13th, to me, it’s a prime day to tap into the weird, the eccentric, the imaginative. These are the Divine Feminine energies no one warned you about 😉 

Friday the 13th offers a day to say fuck the norms. Fuck the fear. Fuck the rules about who we are  “supposed” to be. 

Friday the 13th Ritual:

Just kidding 🙂 I’m not gonna tell you what to do on this date. It feels wrong to give parameters on a day that’s around expansion and letting your freak flag fly. Use anything I offer as a starting point:

Gather with your friends – you know the ones you can be silly and loud and gross with.
Fill up the pages in your notebook with stream-of-consciousness journaling–no editing or critiquing or erasing.
Be naked and barefoot.
Take time for your “weird” hobby or interest.
Create for the sensation of it, not the production of it.
Dance
Live out a fantasy

POTENTIAL JOURNALING PROMPTS

>What are some things you’ve been taught about Divine Feminine Energy? What do you agree with or not agree with? When you are experiencing Divine Feminine energy, what does it look like? What does it feel like? Recognizing your own experience not only allows you to tap into that power freely, it also honors your experience as a full human.

>What are things about yourself that you have been told are weird, or have been mocked for being, doing, liking? Assuming they are not harmful behaviors of course, what are some ways you can reconnect with that part of you? What do you enjoy about those things? How do you feel it makes you unique?

If you want to celebrate with me, I’ve got a couple Friday the 13th events planned:

Tarot Movie Marathon – a series of heinous and hilarious pop culture tarot moments
Virtual Tarot Readings – a one-of-a-kind Friday the 13th Spread for a group of your favorite weirdos. Openings are available at 1:00pm EST (the 13th hour), 5:00pm EST, and 6:30pm EST

The fear of Friday the 13th uncloaks the fear of Feminine.

Once we remove the veil, we can feel for ourselves what it means to be Divine, to be femme, to be freaky.

Practical Magic: Full Moon in Virgo Rituals

How to Embrace the Full Moon in Virgo, loves!

First, let’s situate ourselves.

Many feel drained, discombobulated, depressed—overall significantly low in energy right now.

Those feelings aren’t ideal — but they’re not only okay, they’re on time.

This week, my dear friend Kearstin described telling time as “Primordial,” using seasons, land, and cosmic cycles to tell time versus the man-made calendar.

Our inner clocks tell us to wind down. Our bones know when it’s time to rest. Our nature – both within us and around us – tells us the same.

We are currently in the third act of winter. A time of full-stop slowness, a deep loss, a profound spiral.

Additionally, we are in the final days of the astrological calendar, with this full moon signifying the end to the year according to the Stars.

This creates a powerful opening to release, to let go, to shed the thick skin we’ve grown in winter months; we can emerge anew.

The Full Moon in Virgo rituals I’m about to suggest honor the low-energy feeling we’re still in, but embrace the fertile atmosphere ahead.

I’m not sharing one complicated ritual that takes a lot of time and energy. Instead, I list different ways to harness Full Moon in Virgo energy depending on your personal time and energy capacities.

This full moon is a special one—you won’t have to do much to feel its influence (unless you want to!).

Whether you spend 30 seconds, 30 minutes, or 3 hours on a ritual, it doesn’t matter. What matters is whatever amount of time and energy you feel is appropriate — choose it on purpose. Even if all you’re doing is tweezing your eyebrows or taking a breath of fresh air, do it with intent and the affirmation that you deserve to take this time for yourself.

Imagine that whatever you’re doing is removing stagnant energy from the past year, from the past season, from your energy field.

In these three categories – Minimal ⚡️ , Moderate ⚡️⚡️, and Max ⚡️⚡️⚡️, you will find they all:

✨ Are low or no cost
✨ Can be done at home
✨ Encourage the full moon influence to either release, reflect, or express
✨ Honor the Virgo energies to renew, arrange, and take root

Before you begin any and all activity, remind yourself of the reason you are putting your time and energy into this act:

State WHY, whether verbally or in your head: “I am doing this to let go of____, and invite in ____.

Minimal ⚡️

Honoring The Body
✨ Exfoliate one part of your body
✨ Face cleanse/mask
✨ Stretch
✨ Tweeze or shave
✨ Breathwork – breathe all the way in, filling your lungs; on the exhale, fully release all air. Imagine on the exhale all tension and stress is moving out of you
✨ Shower

Honoring Your Home
✨ Take out the trash
✨ Change the sheets
✨ Wash your mirrors (speaking love into the mirrors of course)
✨ Open a window
✨ Read for fun
✨ Match your socks

Creating a Peaceful Digital Space
✨ Unfollow accounts you don’t like anymore
✨ Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad
✨ Mute anyone you need a break from
✨ Change your iPhone background to something that feels ______ (joyful, abundant, loving, peaceful, etc)

Feeding Your Spirit
✨ Journal – stream of consciousness
✨ Pull one tarot card about what to release
✨ Pray

Moderate ⚡️⚡️

Honoring The Body
✨ Exfoliate entire body or scalp
✨ Make a sugar or coffee scrub to use
✨ Take a bath with epsom or sea salt
✨ Moisturize your entire body, head to toe
✨ Massage your hands

Honoring Your Home
✨ Organize a drawer
✨ Clean the tub/shower
✨ Clean makeup brushes, hairbrushes, etc.
✨ Vacuum/sweep/mop while imagining you’re sucking up and tossing any negative or stagnant energies
✨ Clean out your fridge
✨ Clean off at least one counter space

Creating a Peaceful Digital Space
✨ Unsubscribe from emails
✨ Delete screenshots
✨ Turn off your phone for an hour

Feeding Your Spirit
✨ Write a gratitude list for all things big and small
✨ Meditate
✨ Light some candles
✨ Cleanse your tarot decks or spiritual items (put by the window, smudge, or use selenite)

Max ⚡️⚡️⚡️

Honoring The Body
✨ Full body routine: exfoliate, mask, shave (if that’s your jam), take a bath, moisturize
✨ Smudge your body (don’t forget to open a window)
✨ Youtube a yoga class
✨ Make yourself a nourishing meal
✨ Get dressed in the thing you never let yourself wear even if you’re just doing dishes
✨ Take a long walk

Honoring Your Home
✨ Get rid of clothes that make you feel bad about yourself
✨ Repot plants
✨ Clean a room top to bottom
✨ Clean the bathroom
✨ Do all the dishes (and put them away)

Creating a Peaceful Digital Space
✨ Change your passwords
✨ Set time limits on certain apps
✨ Turn off your phone entirely

Feeding Your Spirit
✨ Create or refresh an Ancestral altar
✨ Full moon tarot spreads
✨ Smudge your house (don’t forget to open a window)
✨ Perform a release ritual (write things on paper and bury them or tear them up and recycle, etc),
Write a list of all the things on your mind and discern which ones you can let go/aren’t in your control, which ones that are in your control and a corresponding action step, and which ones are in your control but you are opting out of doing/acting on
✨ Gather totems that represent full moons, earth, Virgo season and place them in a specific space for the next day or two – write a release and an intention on a piece of paper

In general, this can be a time to set boundaries with people, situations, or habits that drain your energy. Start with envisioning how you want to feel in your days, then think about what seems to get in the way of that in daily life. Be creative and specific about the lines that need drawn. For example, maybe you aren’t getting as much done as you like, but you’re in a depressive state — perhaps you can give yourself three main goals for each day instead of a laundry list. Or you may not be able to quit your job, but maybe you have power over when you check your email. Or perhaps you can’t cut off a relationship entirely, but you can choose to leave or disengage if the conversation/time with them is triggering (and let them manage their own response). These are just some ideas to get started because not everyone’s situation is the same.

Give yourself permission to be picky where you can.

& if you want a little support to get going, I’m bringing 31 Nights of Tarot back – but for the first time we’re embracing SPRING energy. We start in one week on April 1 and I’ll send you gentle and sweet tarot prompts each evening until May 1. It’s $1.99. You can learn more here, or go ahead and pay below.

222 Tarot Spread

Today I’m sharing my 222 Tarot Spread, one I created to embrace the unique energetic portals of February 2 and February 22, 2022.

Although it will be powerful today, save for any time you’re at a crossroads or feeling unsure about a next step. 

It emphasizes duality, unity, alignment, connection, as well as change, challenges, and choices. The purpose is not to tell you what to do, or predict an outcome, but to center yourself in your truth and honor your experience.

Look… I’m not doing a quick tour of this spread because it’s deep. This isn’t a recipe. Skipping to the end isn’t going to give you the flavor darling.

I recognize that we’re all over-extended at the moment, and time is limited. But I fully recommend reading this reference material all the way through, even if you’re reading the tarot spread at a later date, so you can harness all the intention that was put into it as you pull cards. 

This spread is not chill.

Not just because I created it, but from my experience reading this spread for clients, it is not a tarot spread that we can just breeze through. It needs to marinate.

CONTEXT, FOUNDATION FOR THE READING

This spread was inspired by 222 energy. Today is February 22, 2022, 2/22/22, 22022022.

The once-in-a-lifetime date creates some unique energy to channel.

The palindromic portal, an attracting ambigram, 2/22/22 opens a window to challenge choices, changes, and maybe even the chaos that lingers in our lives.

As a number, 222 energy calls for duality, alignment, and connection.

Today, however, is also the Pluto Return of the US of A, meaning Pluto is exactly where it was on the “birth” of the country, when the Declaration of Independence was signed. 

Pluto represents upheaval, unknown, major metamorphosis. So there’s a collective revolutionary energy. 

For me, 22222 energy is about the magnetism of opposites, the relationship between two separate things, and the energy that draws them together.

In one way or another, many of us seek unity, alignment, connection, options, new pathways in our lives.

Today’s the day to talk about Bruno, so to speak. Today’s the day we recognize the cracks in the foundation; the underlying energy, the stirrings of our soul, the things we know are there but we don’t understand—that’s what’s breaking the surface.

Whereas maybe we can’t rebuild or completely shift direction in one day, we can allow ourselves to honor the truth. 

If I’ve lost you already because this seems too freakin out there, well, uh, yes it is. And it get it. This is a take what resonates, leave the rest kind of space.

For those who get it, however, let’s get weird.

I created the 222 tarot spread to extract our truths: the dualities within us that will help guide us a step or two closer to making the choices and changes that we crave.

I read this spread all day today and all day on 2/2/22 and WOW. 

Even I was in disbelief at how powerful it was.

BEFORE YOU READ THE 222 TAROT SPREAD

30-60 minutes of sacred space to read this spread would be nice. Not necessary, but nice. 

Get your favorite journal and pen, set the mood in any way that feels right. It’s okay if you get distracted: parenting doesn’t pause, life happens. Do what you can with what you have.

Whereas reading tarot can generally be a natural and flexible practice, this spread in particular will call on your focus, and would be best read in a full ritual setting, whatever that means to you, in whatever ways you are able. Whatever you do, just do it with intention.

And no, you don’t need a specific topic to read this spread. It is, however, a powerful practice to put your intention into a question, even if it’s open-ended. I found that even if I focus on a certain topic, areas of our lives are interlinked and we tend to receive what is for our greatest good.

Set time aside for your processing, dreaming up, and feeling — make sure you don’t have to rush into something else.

THE 222 TAROT SPREAD

This is a ten-card tarot spread.

Visually, I wanted this spread to feel like a mirror, portraying parts of self, and showcasing alignments between all aspects of self. One part of us influences the other. The way the cards are placed in the spread are symmetrical.

Honoring the dual energy, the cards are read by the pair.

Pair One inspired the Two in the Major Arcana, The High Priestess. The first two cards represent the inner and outer self. 

Card 1: The inner is what you feel, know, sense on the inside. 

Card 2: The outer is how you express, act, and move about in the world. 

This cross is the innermost core of the spread, and the core of ourselves. It sets a tone for what we experience and why we could embrace or are having trouble embracing a new chapter.

It represents thing we know, and the thing we do.

Things I might consider: am I conveying on the outside how I feel on the inside? Is there alignment in myself? Am I able to express what I feel? Do I want to stay in this place and harness this energy, or do I want to pivot into a different state of being?

Pair Two inspired by the Two of Wands, the places between to options, two worlds. Theses signify the past, and the future.

Card 3: The past on the left represents what you know, your experiences, your lessons from that time, the origin of your fears or hopes, etc.

Card 4: The future on the far right represents what you envision, what you hope for, what you desire. It is not an exact outcome, but more so how you feel or what you imagine is possible.

Things I might consider: I think about how one informs the other. How does our past influence our future? What did we learn before that can help us forward? Is our past and our future similar in energy, and how do we feel about that? Can we see a clear pathway? Is this a future that sounds desirable? Can I apply a lesson from my past that can shift the direction?

Pair Three inspired by the Two of Cups, the attraction of where you are and where you want to be, the Here and There.

Card 5: The Here on the bottom inner left represents the present moment. What you experience or have access to in the current reality. The starting point, the catalyst of your pathways forward. 

Card 6: The There on the top inner left represents where you really want to end up, opportunities that exist that you might not have considered.

Things I might consider: what needs to change to get from here to there? What will require me to be fluid, flexible? What is in or out of my control to influence? What about this resonates with me. What are similarities and differences between “there” and the card that showed up as “what I envision?”

Pair Four inspired by the Two of Pentacles, the how you approach your path, the juggling of options and responsibilities. These are things to Stop and Start.

Card 7: Stop on the bottom inner right represents what you are currently doing, or what you had to do to get to this point, but won’t need your attention moving forward.

Card 8: Start on the top inner right represents something that you need to begin focusing attention on that will help you make progress on your path.

Things I might consider: this is the “how” – so how are these cards showing up in my every day? Where am I noticing that the Stop card showing up, and how has it impacted me? How can I honor the Stop card if it helped me this far? Are there any connections to these cards with any other card in the spread? How are my actions related to my outcomes?

Pair Five inspired by the Two of Swords, this is the line of discernment, understanding the difference between wants and needs.

Card 9: The very top card represents your Wants, what you desire as a best-case-scenario outcome.

Card 10: The very bottom card represents your Needs, what will fulfill and sustain you. 

Things I might consider: Are these two cards connected or disconnected? Does one seem to outweigh the other? Is my want really good for me? Are my goals supportive of my needs? Is what I want being honored and allowed? How are these cards connected to the others in the deck?

As you pull cards, it is perfectly okay to use this guide as you read them — you don’t need to memorize this.

I pull all 10 cards, slowly, but one right after the other. I observe any immediate feelings that arise when I place the card where it goes. After I pull all of the cards, I look at them all at once, as a large story. I acknowledge how many of each type of card there are, see if there are any themes, and notice any duality, connections, or similarities between cards in the spread. 

Then I approach each pair, one card at a time.

Your solution will not be laid out in ink, set in stone, or clear as day. 

If you’re looking for an exact answer on “should” or “shouldn’t,” “yes” or “no,” you’re going to have a tough time with this. Let go of finding the right answer.

This is not a spread to figure out, but to feel out.

Allow the sensations and emotions that come to you teach you about what you actually want. Learn about the alignments and misalignments in and around you. All them to inform you on what it could look to take actions, big or small, that are more in alignment. Be curious about the cards and what they mean for your life.

AFTER YOUR READING

Journal. Get everything that came to mind out. Further explore some of the topics that were inspired by the tarot cards. Let your notes, your words, be messy and undefined.

Choose one or two areas where you can make small daily tweaks to your experience. What is in your power to do?

Finally, after receiving so much data to process, I fully recommend doing something completely soothing. Take a bath. Play with your kids. Order food — or cook food if that’s more relaxing for you. Listen to music. Read a book. Whatever it is that feels relaxing and nourishing, spend some time doing that after a reading like this.

2021: The Year of Five

This began as an Instagram post and I quickly realized that this called for more than a quippy caption. 

This is more like an in-depth analysis of the year ahead, through the lens of tarot. 

If you are here, you likely know that when I talk tarot, I see the cards as a reference, offering opportunities for reflection and growth. Know then, dear reader, that moving forward I am not predicting any sort of future because of numbers or cards. I am inviting you to look closer at experiences, both personal and collective, to seek a deeper meaning and assign purpose.

Before we dive in, however, I want to be clear that this could be triggering, friends: I’m talking about 2020, therefore the pandemic, police brutality, death, and similar topics will be mentioned. 

Breathe through this content. I’m especially calling on white people for this—being uncomfortable is part of the process and not a reason to opt out. Breathe through it. Welcome it.

We may have exited 2020… but we entered 2021 folks.

Let’s recap a bit of emerging themes from 2020, the Year of 4, represented in the tarot as the Emperor.

2020 Review: The Year of the Emperor

Tarot Card: The Emperor, Rider Waite Smith deck. Background: Rebecca Louise Law: Life in Death, Page 42-43, The Flower Garden Display’d

Looking through the lens of The Emperor, we understood that situations involving authority, state, systems, structure, discipline would be deeply prevalent, giving us the opportunity to review the foundations on which our society is built and reveal the cracks, to determine what is working and what is not.

Although healthcare crisis, white supremacy, police brutality, wealth inequality, etc are not new in our world, 2020 intensified our awareness and experience of them.

A global pandemic revealed willful ignorance and inaction of government on federal, state and local levels. Viral videos of police brutality unlocked conversation and realization of white supremacy and its part in all systems we are part of. While people lost ability to earn a living, while people faced evictions, while small businesses closed left and right, and the term “essential workers” became common, the wealthiest members of American society became wealthier and wealthier. Jeff Bezos became the word’s richest person by $90 billion. 

Although many call it a dumpster fire year, valuable and long-overdue realities about our society became apparent, with a high cost, from 2020.

2021: Emergence of The Hierophant

2021 comes to ensure that change persists.

2021 is the year of 5. In Tarot, this the year of the Hierophant. 

Even at a glance, one can notice similarities of energy in these cards. 

Side by side comparison of The Emperor and The Hierophant from The Rider Waite Smith Tarot Deck. Background: Rebecca Louise Law: Life in Death, Page 42-43, The Flower Garden Display’d

The most powerful evolution from The Emperor to The Hierophant, is that the picture widens the frame to create awareness beyond the rulers, bringing focus to the people.

As your read through the rest of this, and feel any sensations of overwhelm or hopelessness, remember this and call your energy back to you:

If you want change, you must rise. 

After all, the most prevalent message of The Hierophant is to have faith in yourself, in something bigger than yourself, and serve something outside of yourself. 

The belief that you can accomplish hard, scary, big, things is necessary to pursue them, and is what makes change possible.

Because 2021 brings a continuance of 2020 messages, we will need faith to push through.

The following are messages I channeled through the fives of the Tarot, which relate to 2021. These are themes that may emerge. I share this as a collective message about who this energy impacts us as a whole – it is up to you to determine how these themes show up in your life, and how to respond. 

As always, take what works, leave the rest.

5 things you need to know about the year of 5

The Hierophant from The Rider Waite Smith Tarot Deck. Background: Rebecca Louise Law: Life in Death, Page 42-43, The Flower Garden Display’d

1️⃣ The Hierophant is a heavily loaded card. Although faith and belief are the ultimate messages, a closer gaze reveals another aspect: how authorities abuse and take advantage of that faith to create discrepancies of power. 2020 showed this in wealth, in whiteness, in authority figures, even organized religion. 

We need to become aware of power dynamics at play so we can detach from those systems, and trust there is another way.

BREATHE & CALL YOUR ENERGY BACK TO YOU.

Five of Pentacles from The Rider Waite Smith Tarot Deck. Background: Rebecca Louise Law: Life in Death, Page 42-43, The Flower Garden Display’d

2️⃣ Five of Coins: With this wealth gap widening, and no real solutions in sight, this year will bring attention to houselessness, and resources. Concepts of shelter, providing places of solace, will be important. Perhaps this is your cause to contribute. This is also an opportunity to think about where your money goes and how to use it to create meaningful impact, as well as learn about ways to divest from big banking and oppressive financial systems.

BREATHE & CALL YOUR ENERGY BACK TO YOU.

The Five of Wands from The Rider Waite Smith Tarot Deck. Background: Rebecca Louise Law: Life in Death, Page 42-43, The Flower Garden Display’d

3️⃣ Five of Wands: Last year, many set intentions, but this is a year we will be given opportunities to put skin in the game. A card that represents rising intensity, the change, the conflict, it’s getting real. This is not the time to step back, even when there is conflict from different methods of change. Consider where your energy is best spent and where you can be of most use for the greatest good. Collaboration is key.

BREATHE & CALL YOUR ENERGY BACK TO YOU.

The Five of Swords from The Rider Waite Smith Tarot Deck. Background: Rebecca Louise Law: Life in Death, Page 42-43, The Flower Garden Display’d

4️⃣ Five of Swords: Themes of conflict, deceit, colonialism, imperialism come with this card. It is a call to reframe ideas of ruling ideologies like capitalism, organized religion, the state, US history, etc, to uncover who benefits and why. For example, why were we taught lies about Thanksgiving? Why were we told a completely watered down version of slavery? Once we begin to pick at our conditioning, we break open the limiting mental thresholds and realize that more is possible. But it will take mental and physical fortitude. 

BREATHE & CALL YOUR ENERGY BACK TO YOU.

The Five of Cups from The Rider Waite Smith Tarot Deck. Background: Rebecca Louise Law: Life in Death, Page 42-43, The Flower Garden Display’d

5️⃣ Five of Cups: first and foremost, give yourself a chance to grieve and honor true loss, to nurture yourself through the flood of emotion. 

There are themes of loss, but not for nothing. This is mostly for white folks. In a system of oppression, when one group is high and one group is low (for lack of better terms), as the low group rises, even if unmoved, the group in power feels a perceived loss of power. That if people have more, then somehow that means we have less. This perceived threat is something that our systems of power, like capitalism, rely upon to maintain status. 

For example, let’s say we come up with the solution to end houselessness: houseless persons are allowed to move into one of the thousands of empty houses that are just sitting unoccupied. This is perceived as a loss by people who own houses: you had work for yours right? This is perceived as a loss by realtors: then who will buy houses if we give them away for free? The people in power suddenly begin to feel like it’s unfair. Forgetting that being cold, hungry, sick, in need of water is unfair and inhumane. Forgetting that even at its simplest, giving people an address can change their likelihood of becoming employed. Giving people shelter doesn’t diminish how hard you worked. It doesn’t change that people will still need to buy new houses.

My point with the five of cups is this: when you begin to feel like you have lost because “normalcy” is gone (can’t get your hair done, or go to a concert, or seem to have any discussion without race coming up), that is the perception of loss coming to take away your drive to keep shifting the dynamic. When people of power and privilege can begin to realize it’s not about the losses, but the very full cups of awareness that are just within reach, that build a bridge to community, that’s when we begin to shift.

BREATHE & CALL YOUR ENERGY BACK TO YOU.

My friends, ultimately, 2021 as a year of faith, is a time to separate from what is misaligned with your spirit. It’s a time to believe in the greatest good, and make contributions toward that energy.

What are your takes on the year of 5?

Getting back to work.

As I sit down with my tea, to prep for my first week of “normal” work since the murder of George Floyd, I realize how important it is, right here and now, to make commitments for long-term change.

Because nothing should go back to normal.

We should not return to our scheduled posts, our services, our sales. 

Many companies are sharing their commitments or their values right now, which is important, but also feels like lip service or marketing, or surface-level support.

Amazon shows a Black Lives Matter banner; yet we know this company refused to offer PPE to employees to protect them from Covid-19 in their facilities, a pandemic impacting black communities disproportionately.

Chase Bank also created a graphic on their web pages to support Black Lives; yet we know who funds massive displacement of Indigenous People on “protected” land. 

So when I express and commit to anti-racism in what I offer, what I need to do, and where my impact is most helpful, I understand the weight and the actions required of me as a business owner, a facilitator, and a white woman.

What I will share today will discuss my commitment to make an impact, to offer support, to share resources, and ultimately, do my part in ending white supremacy.

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When I look at what I am able to do with my skills, my audience, I realize I am in a considerable position to educate. 

A majority of my clients are white women. And it is clear that we have so, so, so much work to do.

Before sharing these values and vows, I feel it is essential to share where I have gone wrong.

To state ways that a company will move forward without reaching deep into the shadows of the people who run these companies — it is not meaningful, it is not real.

It is also imperative that white people get more comfortable with changing behaviors, especially after someone takes the time to offer correction. Whereas the harm of ignorance is significant, knowing better, and not doing better, is wicked. 

Even though I educate and speak often about cultural appropriation, spiritual bypassing, ancestral/generational trauma & inherited beliefs, it does not abstain me from reckoning with my missteps.

It is uncomfortable.

But it is necessary.

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This shows how deep white supremacy runs — I can intelligently know it exists in wrongness, but instinctively perpetuate it. 

During a retreat about Breaking Cycles—habits that have formed in our lives, or that have been inherited from our mothers and fathers—a guest, a Black woman, shared about her experiences with racism, and having severe discomfort around blonde, blue-eyed women. Another guest, a blonde-haired, blue-eyed white woman, took this personally, defensively expressed how uncomfortable it made her feel, and began her verbal processing in front of the group, even speaking directly to the Black woman who shared, asking questions and seeking validation.

A similar instance happened at a workshop where we all journaled and created vision boards for 2020, sharing about what we learned in the past decade and what we hope the next decade will bring. There was a guest, a white woman, who commented on every single share, offering a new perspective or a solution. This is an obvious cross of boundaries, but it deepened in its impact because most of the women who shared that day were Black Women. 

As a facilitator noticing these microaggressions, I pivoted the conversation. Later, I spoke with these guests privately about the weight of their comments and boundaries that were crossed, and created guidelines for compassionate discourse in future events.

The question I ask myself is why I felt this was a reasonable response. 

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The answer is painfully obvious, but I will break down the thought process for you:

1. Why did I avoid the conversation in front of the group? 

Answer: Because I prioritized comfortability.

2. Why was comfortability on the table?

Answer: Because I promised a safe space.

3. Why was the discomfort of white women the indicator of safety?

Answer: Because I have been raised and conditioned to prioritize the feelings of white women, of myself.

4. Why did white feelings matter?

Answer: Because we live in a world that values white feelings over Black experiences.

5. Why did I uphold this?

Answer: Because I inherently, as a white person who benefits from white supremacy, am supposed to uphold these violations out of fear of consequences.

My nonaction in those moment said loud and clear whose feelings mattered in those spaces.

White supremacy lives, breathes, and breeds in white people, whether in the light of day or in the shadows, and that’s why it’s vital that my work as business owner starts with me, and is ongoing throughout my practice.

Coming to these conclusions is a requirement. 

I have in my past been a fragile white person, infuriated when someone had the nerve to call me out. I have also centered conversations about racism to focus on my experiences growing up in a predominately black neighborhood — both of these examples are times I can look back and see how harmful this behavior is. I know what it’s like to be ignorant and entitled and privileged, and reject each and every one of the notions. And, I can share from experience how instantaneous it is to change your behaviors once you keep listening instead of ignoring or avoiding.

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To hold myself accountable, I offer specific ways I will be active in anti-racism. This is just the start, a non-exhaustive list, not a checklist to complete; my actions will update and evolve as I continue growing and learning. My actions will update and evolve until Black people are free.

Business Actions:

Updating curriculum:
💛Adding cultural context in every Tarot 101 Workshop & Tarot Study
💛Removing culturally appropriative practices from teachings or rituals, such as Smudging

💛Intentionally including topics of anti-racism in retreat programming (for example, the Nourish Your Body retreat did not include a specific time to discuss race, which is a major oversight. I rescheduled it for a later date to research ways to incorporate it into the program)
💛Unpacking white supremacy, white exceptionalism, white privilege, white entitlement in sessions with one-on-one clients
💛Including more resources by Black Women in teachings

Meaningful Collaboration:

💛Vetting potential partners to identify problematic language/behaviors, as well as see their commitment to anti-racism

💛Severing ties and connections with partnerships that do not commit to anti-racist work

💛Purchasing from more Black-owned businesses

💛Inviting and paying more Black experts to speak at retreats and workshops

Offering Resources:
💛Donating to causes on a regular basis to support Black communities

💛Creating free downloads to educate Spiritual White practitioners on culturally inappropriate language/practices and provide appropriate alternatives

Personal actions:

💛Researching my lineage to understand the depth of my inherited racism (what to heal, what to repair)

💛Researching my heritage to learn of my own culture and practices

💛Expanding my understanding of cultural appropriation

💛Continuing education about tarot, spirituality, and cultural context

💛Devoting daily time to learn more about anti-racism, allyship, Queer/Gender issues, and more

💛Speaking openly about my own mistakes and corrections

What this means for White clients: 

In your time working with me, expect to address Anti-Racism. This conversation is not an “if.” There is no spiritual growth, no mental health or healing, while white supremacy flows through us unaddressed. I will not always have the right thing to say and I will often refer to notes or external resources, but I will no longer hold space for microaggressions, spiritual bypassing, or cultural appropriation. You are in a space to be educated on white supremacy and how it starts within, and seeps outward into our communities. Expect to engage in these conversations. They will be different for each person, each client, depending on where you are in your awareness, and it will be difficult for all involved. But these conversations are necessary. If you want to build a better world — start with you.

What this means for Black clients: 

you are held in safety. When we talk about race, when we talk about manifestation, when we talk about abundance, when we talk about anything… your identity is seen and matters.

This is the year of The Emperor. 

It is the year to destroy the systems.

To rebuild the foundation. 

To lift up humanity. 

The world is not ending. A new world is beginning.

Tarot for Lovers

Valentine’s Day has me thinking about how Tarot portrays love.

Any card could relate to love, relationships, sex, and intimacy in the deck, but a few offer messages about love directly. 

The most obvious is, of course, The Lovers. 

The lovers

It speaks of unity, divine intervention, two coming together, open-heartedness, and so much more. At its core it is about love and relationships. 

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The card I want to talk about though? The Devil.

The Lovers and The Devil have striking similarities, don’t you think? Think about how often you go for delicious, devilish dessert when your body is craving something hearty and nutritious. 

When thinking of love, also comes the topics of obsession, desperation. To me, it’s just as important to talk about. Because there’s a fine line between feeling swept off your feet and completely carried away in chaos. It teaches us to be aware of what draws us close to a partner. The Devil as it relates to relationships typically means caution, that old patterns may be repeating, give us the clue that the partner is unhealthy. Sometimes, depending on the situation, it could mean a pleasure, romance or fetish.  

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The Two of Cups also represents coming together; we can come from different places, but with the reach of just one hand, we can unite. There is a sense of healing and nourishment that this bond brings. It fills our cups without depletion. 

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The evolution of this card is the Ten of Cups, which represents fulfillment and completion with your ideal family. There is peace and harmony here. Messages of happiness and joy are possible.

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The Three of Swords is unmistakeable for its commentary on love. We’ve heard the saying: love is pain and pain is love. The pain of love pierces our heart. Those wounds don’t heal, they change us. So we go into love knowing the risk, and we love hard anyway. In readings this could mean to acknowledge past pains, become aware of the hurts in your current relationship, or accept the painful truths.

 

 

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We will end with The Four of Wands. This card is about beginnings, about commitment, and about sacred bonds. Unlike our cups cards, this card implies the work, the activity, that goes into building the relationship you want. It implies there is passion, but it needs to have direction. There is magic, but it needs to be useful. And it also nods that it takes a village to maintain a healthy outlook on yourself and the success of your relationship. In readings, this would indicate to me a triumph in love, a need to create a strong foundation, or a need to come together through passion, creativity.

These tarot cards can apply to so many situations outside of a romantic relationship; still, when these cards come up in readings, a component of love and relationships is trying to be heard.

Three Beliefs About Love That Keep Us from Actually Feeling It

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Very few of us take a moment to deepen our understanding of love. To explore what we want, how it feels. We believe certain concepts as facts. And it’s no surprise.

[Peek through RaDonna’s Looking at Love RetreatSelf-Love Retreat if you want in-depth, in-person exploration about this topic]

We are sold, shown, and taught about love from an early age. 

In the way it was given, or withheld.
In the way we heard people say it, or sat in the silence of the unsaid.
In the way we saw it in a Hollywood kiss, heard it in a lyric or melody, learned about how it feels from a thin-papered magazine quiz we may or may not have thrown across the room when it so matter-of-factly revealed… they don’t like us back.

The lessons of our worthiness, our language for love, weaves throughout every story of our lives. 

Each lesson differs, depending on who’s learning it: your upbringing, your sense of belonging, your culture, your self-esteem, your personality, your birth chart — your messages of love are completely unique.

In some cultures love is about courtship, in other cultures it is about survival. 

It makes complete sense that we all

Have
A
Different
Understanding
Of
Love

There are common beliefs that influence how we, as individuals, experience it, even when there is no personal connection to that belief. I’ve rounded up a few that come up in sessions or consultations regularly.

Editor’s Note: Notice I call these statements “beliefs” rather than “myths.” I’m not here to debunk someone’s philosophy on love, or life, or anything. There is nothing wrong if you believe any of the following statements. This writing encourages you to recognize that you have a choice in how you give, receive, understand, define, experience, and desire love, and challenges you to explore those beliefs.

 

Belief #1 “But they’re my soulmate…”

soulmate is a word

I know, I know. I’m spiritual so you’d think I believe in love that lasts lifetimes, bringing people together over and over for eternity.

Maybe this is true. Who knows? 

All I know for sure is RIGHT NOW. 

If you found someone that makes you feel like all the stars aligned and brought you to them, fucking bathe in that babe! Whether it’s a lover, a friend, your family. Enjoy it. 

But if you found someone who said “you’re my soulmate,” yet makes you feel awful, abuses you, drains your energy, do not stay because of a fucking word. Generally, I tend to believe soulmates wouldn’t make you feel unsafe and it’s not your soul journey to endure.

When looking for a soulmate connection, I think what we are describing is the need 

to feel energetically, spiritually, aligned with someone;
to feel seen down to our bones, our tangled skeleton;
to trust this person to witness our shape with unconditional love.

It is possible to find this deep connection with people, to feel like we’ve known them for lifetimes.

But remember. 

Soulmate

Is Simply

A Word

It doesn’t immortalize pain.

Belief #2 “You complete me” 

-3286580399604559549_IMG_6218Many of us crave that Mal Cobb passion, “do you know what it is to be a lover? To be a half of a whole?” Or perhaps you’ve dreamt of creating a family for-fucking-ever.

Feeling balanced from union with another makes complete sense.

Feeling completed by it raises a red flag for me.

To hold on to this belief as the only truth—without those things we are not whole—can be a dangerous foundation to build upon if we’re not paying attention. Not just for the relationships we’re creating.

Know this: when someone special enters your life, they add to your awesome–they were not the architect of it.

The empty feeling that we are not enough without a partner snowballs into feeling like we are not enough period. It affects our money, our friendships, our mental health.

No need to stop craving these things, or to avoid fully putting your heart into something. Instead, become aware of your center of gravity–you, the only and absolute constant in your life.

“Are you enough for you is the only question you need to answer”
–L.E. Bowman, The Evolution of a Girl

Belief #3 We must love ourselves before we love another.

Loving yourself
is a practice,
not a prerequisite.

The truth is: loving yourself is hard.

Especially when we are told not to… 

all. of. the. fucking. time.

Add in depression, anxiety, lack of self-awareness, uncertainty,  imposter syndrome… many of us would never feel ready or worthy of love.

I whole-heartedly promote self-love. To me, however, it’s an action, rather than an accomplishment. There is no finish line. Self-love is a ritual that infuses every part of our routine: what we eat and drink, how we get ready for the day, how we get ready for sleep, who we spend time with, the work we produce, the media we consume, sometimes even the purchases we make. If love looks differently for everyone, SELF-LOVE is even more unique.

And it changes all of the time.

If we waited until the day we fully loved all of ourselves, we could be waiting a while. 

While you work on loving yourself, it’s okay to let people in who love you, too. 

Love is a practice not a prerequisite

When we give ourselves a chance to observe our beliefs, we break down some of walls that keep us from experiencing it. Whether we nurture the relationship with ourselves, allow ourselves to feel love, or simply understand it a little better, breaking down our limiting beliefs about love opens us up for more of it.

Self-determine your own ideas about love–with others and with yourself–please join me to explore these topics at upcoming retreats:

Looking at Love Retreat February 9
💗Define love in your own words
💗Describe and understand how love feels for you
💗Unpack concepts like “soulmate” and “twin flame”
💗Learn the basics of boundaries: Safe Words for Life
💗Communicate your needs, wants, desires
💗Deepen your relationship with yourself and the people in your life
💗Feel stronger, better, about where you are right. now.

Self-Love Retreat February 23
💗Get to know yourself a little better
💗Create your Personal Hierarchy of Needs
💗Identify ways to show yourself love without spending money (and give yourself permission to splurge when you need to)
💗Create rituals for self-care
💗Gain confidence and self-acceptance
💗Examine topics of body image, body positivity,
💗Acknowledge the inner critic and limiting beliefs

Sign up individually, or, if you sign up by Friday, January 31, you can attend both for $249, just email me!

Loving the Unlikeable

Last summer I found a photo of little RaDonna, and promised to love her.

This one, to be exact. She’s so adorable.

little radonna

That practice was so healing and meaningful to me, like a breeze to adopt. Of course I would protect the most innocent version of myself.

What feels less easy, however, is to love this version of myself.

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And it’s not for the obvious reasons.

I have a hard time loving her, because every single day, someone yelled at her. 

Whether it was the girls yelling at me, loud and in unison while I dug books from my locker after lunch— “BITCH,” “SLUT,” “POSER”— or my dad in the confines of the car on short, but very long, daily drives to school, or both, it was engrained into me that I deserved to be tormented.

I thought, for sure, that something was wrong with me. So I became my biggest bully. This phase in my life taught me toxic ways to treat myself. It normalized abusive behaviors. It instilled a belief system that I was unlikeable. So when I see images of her, I feel shame and embarrassment. I find it harder to protect her, because I believed all the things people said.

In a lot of ways, if I’m being honest, I still do.

So I’m challenging myself to love the girl who needs it the most.

To start this practice, I want to see myself from a new vantage point. When I clear the initial haze of pain from my view of her, I see someone completely different.

This girl was fearless.

Ft. LauderdaleAlways adorned in studs, she romped around in high-top Converse Chuck Taylors with flames roaring up the side—she even changed the laces to a thick, neon orange. If it could be personalized, it was. She rocked a wallet chain and about a dozen bracelets at a time.

She coated layers and layers of eyeliner around her eyes. If she was feeling adventurous, she drew black lines all the way down her face. This in particular repulsed her homeroom teacher; every time, the math teacher told her to wipe it off or go to the principal’s office. Of course we know Rae chose the principal’s office. But here’s where it gets good. THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE. She did her research. She read all of the district’s rules and policies about attire and makeup. So when she was sent to the principal’s office for the nth time, she had a case. On that fateful day, studs and all, a 13-year-old eighth grader negotiated terms with the principal. They comprised to keep the lines drawn to just one-inch down her face.

Only studying once, the night before, she won the school spelling bee on a word she’d never heard before: efflorescence. 

Her evenings were the best. For hours upon hours, she immersed herself in the world of emo songs, lyrics and album art. She lit incense [she wasn’t allowed to have], stapled torn magazine pages of her heroes onto her walls [and eventually the ceiling], and she wrote in her green composition notebook.

notebook
This notebook is so, so special. Permanent marker scribbles and cheeky artwork transformed the cover, and its pages were filled with misunderstood-girl anthems, I-love/hate-boys anthems, and fuck-the-world anthems. She poured over the songs, sometimes in tears, sometimes with a laugh, writing and scribbling. Crossing out and filling in. And at some miraculous point, to a select few songs, she wrote in all caps “FINISHED” at the top. That assurance is admirable.

There are few things she committed to like expressing herself. This girl felt her feelings.

She dreamed of becoming a rockstar. She formed a band, “Spinning Jenny” and created the album art. The only problem was the lack of musical ability. She orchestrated–not songs, no–but the band practice room and where everything would set up and tear down. She tried to write tabs, without actually knowing how the play the guitar. You try telling that girl she would be better suited for behind the scenes and management… just try. 

She could never make it down the half pipe. But she at least got up there.

Kissing boys was literally one of her favorite things. There was actually one boy who was seriously the sweetest little boyfriend. Her pick-up line? Doing something clumsy, then when she saw he caught it, pointing at him and saying “I’m cool.” [pretty sure this is still my go-to]

ygmvyoycsbg59iwlfduqkg-e1547674660696.jpgShe couldn’t afford a wardrobe full of brand names like most of the students at school. One day, tired of being bullied relentlessly, she took permanent marker to an unassuming gray T-shirt. On the front she scribed, “Abercrombie & Fitch.” And on the back, “Am I Popular Now?” MIC DROP.

It was her favorite shirt to wear, with a close second being the yellow shirt with a cartoon cow saying “please don’t eat me.” It didn’t stop any bullying, clearly, but to her it communicated a disinterest in normal. And that was enough.

Still, no matter how wondrous I was, the obstacles I ran day in and day out trained me to hate myself. The only reason I am, was, or have been, ashamed of myself at this age is because I was conditioned to be.

Almost 30, I’m done hating such a significant part of my story. And it starts with unapologetically loving the hell out of her.

She knew so much that I think I’m still figuring out. She stood up for herself, unafraid of consequences. She was wicked witty and smart. She actually finished poems. She treated her evenings, her creativity, as sacred. She took her art seriously.

Now, as I sit and write poems and light incense and express myself again, I feel like I’m sending signals back in time, or maybe we’re sending signals to each other. That it’s okay. We’re all good. I’m validating how awesome she is. She’s reminding me of exactly the same thing.

This will take practice and intention to reframe my experiences of this time and heal the wiring in my mind. But I’m committed to it and will be putting this picture on my altar. What version of yourself is hardest to love? I challenge you to dig out that image of yourself, clear the fog, and see her with new eyes.

middle school radonna 

In true emo fashion, I will leave you with lyrics:

“And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well,
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself…

Slight hope,
It dangles on a string,
Like slow spinning redemption.”

Vindicated, Dashboard Confessional

 

What the Winds Carried

Last night, I felt the atmosphere shift. 

It started with a sunshower, rain sprinkling during sunshine. Several minutes later, a thunderstorm burst open from the sky, pouring heavy, hard rain. It left as quickly as it came. But the wind stayed, strong enough to send us sideways. All around, leaves rolled in the air, dancing in the same direction, like they knew it was time. Finally, three flocks of sparrows pulled together and apart like taffy in effortless orchestration, right overhead as my partner and I crossed a bridge. 

We were both in mouth-open amazement. He said what I was thinking: “the veil is definitely thinning.”

This week, Halloween, Samhain, and Dia de los Muertos occur in the same time period. It is a time when we more palpably share space with spirit. 

The winds carried it in. 

There could be two sides of this, separate or simultaneous. It could be experienced as ominous—chills, getting the creeps, feeling a little scared, nervous, or even depressed. It could also be experienced as heightened intuition, feeling warmth for no explicable reason, connectivity with your loved ones.

I don’t know what your house is like. I don’t know how this will impact you. I’m just saying—be aware of yourself, and don’t dismiss a gut feeling. 

If you get a bad vibe from someone, trust it. If you feel like you got a sign from a loved one in spirit, trust it. If you feel like you need to protect yourself, trust it. If you know you need to pull yourself from a spiral, trust it.

Some ideas to help you spend time with your spirituality this week:

Bless your space

Send healing to others

Heal yourself (with therapy, bodywork, meditation, reiki, whatever works for you)

Protect your energy, your spirit, your space

Call in your loved ones

Pay attention to signs

Ask for guidance 

Trust your gut

Personally, I am excited about this time. I feel more sensitive, more intuitive, more connected. So I am fully trusting myself, knowing that my decisions and actions will be meaningful for me. It doesn’t mean I didn’t get a sense of unease as well. Before bed last night, I smudged my room with the Holy Wood, Palo Santo, for protection and clearing. I asked my guides to be with me. This morning I lit candles in gratitude and thanks.

Tell me… did you feel this shift too?

Everything is Full Circle

In elementary school, my friends and I would pretend to make potions and spells at recess (Practical Magic probably just came out 😸). Each of us would bring supplies from home, and sit in a circle under a tree and mix up pretty things.

I searched my house for items we could use. I climbed on the countertops and dug into the kitchen cabinets, squirming back into the cavern of spices as far as my little arms would reach. I chose cinnamon sticks, and snatched as many as I could without being too suspicious 😹 (which means I left one in the jar… haha). 

My friends brought fragrant, glittery beauty products—lotions, sprays, gels, all the goop from Bath & Body works—that made everything sparkle and smell good. I brought the cinnamon sticks. At the time, I felt embarrassed about it—I felt like it wasn’t as magical as something that sparkled in the sunlight.

Today, I giggle to myself as I purchase cinnamon sticks to place on my Autumn altar during this Saturday’s equinox.

I knew more than I realized. Even then, I was drawn to the earthly wonders that help us feel warm and whole, even if in comparison it seemed off-base. Now I know that just because something glitters, doesn’t mean it’s gold. All the bells and whistles mean nothing without substance. And cinnamon is a miracle worker.

During my Autumn Equinox ritual this Saturday, I’m adding cinnamon to my Autumn altar for grounding, warm energy, among other autumn totems.

What do you plan to do to welcome autumn and set the tone for the season?

At this moment, I’m writing my ritual to share with people in the Autumn Soul Care Cycle this Saturday. If you are curious about an autumn equinox ritual, or lunar rituals, this is a safe space to learn and explore.